


Every Prince needs a Princess

by LilahMontgomery



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: F/M, Humor, OOC, Practical Jokes, Rated for frequent explicit language, Romance if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 18:07:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4029580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilahMontgomery/pseuds/LilahMontgomery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vegeta is a teenage Saiyan- powerful, rude and out of control.<br/>Can Frieza pull him into line and bring peace to the empire?<br/>Can a teenage boy get the girl when she hates him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Teenage nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first fiction that I wrote and posted-ever. 
> 
> Feel free to leave Kudos if you liked it- comment if you really want to brighten my day. 
> 
> Thanks for reading otherwise 
> 
> Chrizzii xx
> 
>  
> 
> I do not own any of these characters, they are being borrowed, no profit will be made from this.

Freeza looked out of the window at the stars. 

“I think there’s only one thing worse than an adult Saiyan, and that’s a teenage one,” he mused.  


“Vegeta is SO much worse than Raditz ever was though, Master Freeza,” Zarbon complained. “We have complaints about him from almost every field captain and ship commander in the fleet!”  


“Come now, Zarbon, there’s no way he’s bad as they say. The fools can’t control a spirited seventeen year old, that’s all.” 

Freeza turned in his hover chair and faced Zarbon, who was on one knee on the floor. 

Zarbon looked annoyed.  


“Just last week, my Lord, he played with the environmental controls on Space Station K. It has only just stopped snowing!”  


“A silly childish prank.”  


“He ordered a male prostitute for each one of the bridge officers on Station G,”  


“That was rather funny.”  


“He set the gravity controls in the training bay so high that no one could get in there to turn it off. We had to call in an engineer to restart the entire system!”  


“Did you ask him to switch it off?”  
“

Yes. He laughed.” 

Freeza glared down at him, an amused smile on his face.  


“What’s he like in the field?” He asked. Zarbon flushed red with anger.  


“A month ago, he brought four beings back with him from the Planet formally known as Tara. He had them following him around acting as servants for several days before selling them at auction and pocketing the profits. He is insubordinate, uncooperative, swears constantly and undermines the chain of command. Half the time we’re lucky he turns up sober and when he does, he says- and I quote- I won’t get off my ass to fight power levels lower than two thousand.” Freeza stiffened.  


“It’s Ok, I think I can handle a monkey like Vegeta! Send the Saiyans to me.” 

p> 

Raditz took the call on the communicator from Zarbon. “Yes, Zarbon, sir?”  


“Get the other Saiyans and come to Freeza’s command deck, he wants a word with you all.” 

Raditz sighed.  


“This isn’t to do with Vegeta is it? If it is, just so you know, we do not condone his behaviour. In fact, we’re kind of sick of him too.”  


“Duly noted.” 

The communicator cut the call and Raditz made his way to the training floor, finding only Nappa there. 

He paused the training program and used the microphone behind the glass. 

“Nappa, Freeza wants to see us.” 

Nappa stopped training and rolled his eyes.  


“Any idea where The Prince is?” Raditz asked. 

The larger Saiyan shrugged. 

“Great,” Raditz grumbled, tuning his communicator to Vegeta’s scouter. 

It rang several times before a groggy voice answered.  


“Someone better be dying-or someone will be soon!” came the Prince’s reply.  


“Sire, Freeza wants to see us,” Raditz stated.  


“What the fuck’s wrong now?” Vegeta exclaimed. 

There was a voice in the background. Raditz couldn’t make it out but it was distinctly female. 

“No, go back to sleep,” he heard Vegeta say to her, “It’s just some dick I work with.”  


“I’m still on the line, your highness,” Raditz said, exasperated.  


“I know. Be up in five.” The link was cut, Raditz was left seething.


	2. A Plan

The men entered the command deck, led by the teenager. 

They knelt on one knee, looking at the floor. 

“You summoned us, Lord Freeza?” Vegeta said.  


“Ah, yes, Vegeta,” Freeza smiled and looked down at him fondly, “It has come to my attention that you are having a problem following orders and obeying the rules.”  


“Well, I wouldn’t say-“  


“Don’t interrupt me, Vegeta, I am speaking. I have decided to invite one of my dear friends, King Orlov, for a little demonstration of force. You three will join me.”  


“Yes, Lord Freeza,” The three said in unison.  


“Report to me here at 1700 hours-and Vegeta? If you arrive high on anything I will have you locked in a holding cell until you’ve sobered up.” 

 

“Fucking asshole,” Vegeta grumbled as they made their way to the training rooms, “Where does he get off telling me what to do?”  


“Well, he is the emperor of the Galaxy,” Raditz reminded.  


“Fuck off.” Came the reply.  


“Vegeta, if Freeza is there, you can’t get into any trouble, ok? He’ll take it out on us too and I like my spine where it is.” Nappa implored.  


“I like not hearing your whining constantly, but there it is again!”  


“We mean it, Vegeta, please don’t act up tonight.” Raditz said. Vegeta sighed.  


“I’ll try.”  


“Is that the best you can do?” Asked Nappa.  


“I’ll try really hard.” 

 

The Saiyans took their place in the line of troops, ready to be inspected by Freeza’s guests. 

Zarbon stood in front of Vegeta and looked down at him sternly. 

“You watch your mouth tonight, monkey, or mark my words, there’ll be trouble.” He warned. 

Vegeta nudged Nappa and smirked.  


“This King Orlov must be hot, Zarbon’s put on new leggings,” he sniggered. 

Zarbon’s eyes flashed as he turned and walked away, leaving the Prince grinning. 

Dedoria glared from near the door and marched over to him. 

“What are you looking so pleased about, brat?” He demanded.  


“I’m just happy to be here.”  


“Glad someone is.” Came the snapped reply before he too went away.  


“Presenting: King Orlov and Princess Thena,” a grunt called from the door. 

The King stepped in, followed by a young girl who looked around twenty. 

Both had bright green eyes, green hair and dark blue skin. 

They were wearing matching black robes and silver crowns. 

“How come I don’t wear a crown?” Vegeta whispered to Raditz, who ignored him. 

“I should totally start wearing a crown. Next mission with a king involved, I’m stealing a crown.”  


“Shhhh!” Raditz hushed urgently. 

Vegeta crossed his arms and grinned. 

 

The pair were inspecting the troops, the king talking to Freeza, clearly pleased with the standard.

The Princess walked behind them serenely. 

She stopped when she got to Raditz, eyeing his tail with fascination. 

He bowed, which made her giggle. 

“Hello, and who are you?” She asked him.  


“I’m Raditz, a soldier from the Planet Vegeta,” he greeted. 

Vegeta coughed loudly.  


“And who is this?” she asked, pointing to him.  


“Just some dick I work with,” Raditz grumbled. 

Vegeta stepped forward and kissed her hand.  


“Prince Vegeta of the Saiyan race, my lady,” he said quietly. 

She blushed and nodded at him.  


“A Prince, you say?” she asked, looking him up and down.  


“Yeh, but since my planet got a little ‘blown up’, I guess I could call myself ‘Grand High Master of the World’ and no one could correct me.”  


“I see…I’m sorry for your loss,” she replied, stepping away from him.  


“Nice crown.”  


“Thanks.”  


“Wanna bang later?”  


“Oh my god!” She cried, walking off back to her father. 

Vegeta stepped back into line, sniggering to himself.  


“What the hell was that?” Raditz demanded.  


“Wasn’t a ‘no’,” The Prince replied.  


“Vegeta!” Freeza snapped, standing with the Princess.  


“Fuck.”  


“A word, please. Now.”  


“Mother Fucker won’t cut me a break…” grumbled Vegeta, walking sullenly to Freeza. 

Freeza slapped him in the face, knocking him to the ground. 

He cried out and held his cheek.  


“One more word from you and I’ll have you thrown in the holding cells for the rest of the week. Get back into line and BEHAVE!” Freeza yelled. 

Vegeta picked himself off the floor and trudged back into line, mumbling to himself.  


“Now we present Zarbon, Commander of the Seventh Fleet.” The grunt announced. 

Zarbon stepped forward and shook the King’s hand, bowed to the Princess and stood before the men.  


“As some of you may know, King Orlov is currently fighting a civil war on his home world,” he said, “Lord Freeza has formed an alliance with him and has pledged all of you as back up to his forces.”  


“Back up? More like an invasion force that he’s just gonna let in, fucking moron.” Vegeta whispered.  


“Shhh!” Said Raditz.  


“Gonna take his crown.”  


“Shhh!”  


“It can be annoying when it’s hard,” Zarbon continued, “but I hope it will be over quickly.” 

Vegeta hopped from one foot to another, but failed to hold in his shout.  


“That’s what she said!” He yelled.  


“FOR THE LOVE OF- TAKE HIM AWAY!” Freeza ordered. 

Vegeta was pulled out of the door laughing.  


“I regret nothing!” Was heard as he was dragged down the corridor. 

Freeza put his fingers on the bridge of his nose and breathed while a wave of giggling from the troops died down. 

Raditz rolled his eyes at Nappa and both shifted, embarrassed.


	3. The End of King Orlov

The Saiyans stepped out of their space pods and onto the valley floor of King Orlov’s home world.  


“I can’t believe they kicked you out of the holding cells!” Raditz said to Vegeta. 

He shrugged.  


“They cracked after one day. Personal best!” Came the cocky reply. 

Nappa pressed his scouter on and surveyed the area. 

Raditz flew up in the air and did the same. 

Vegeta stood beside Nappa chuckling to himself.  


“Hey, Nappa,” he said in a hushed tone, “Guess what I did? I’ve messed with Raditz’ scouter so it doubles power levels.” 

Nappa spun round to look at him.  


“You did what?”  


“Just roll with it. Hey, Raditz!” He called up to the worried looking Saiyan above, “We’ve decided you can handle the first group ahead, we’re gonna head off the other way where there’s more action.” 

Raditz looked down at him, frantic.  


“Sire, according to these readings, I’m not sure I could…”  


“Don’t be ridiculous, Raditz, you’ll be fine!” The Prince called back.  


“But- Prince Vegeta, I really don’t think…”  


“Are you disobeying a direct order?” Vegeta narrowed his eyes darkly. 

Raditz gulped.  


“No, Sire, I’ll get to it. And….it’s been fun,” he added. 

Vegeta waved his hand dismissively, flying in the other direction with Nappa, leaving the frightened Saiyan behind them.

 

Nappa cast a worried look skyward as Vegeta continued his onslaught of blasting the city. 

They had made it to the palace and Vegeta was picking off the guards one by one as they ventured out, cackling all the while. 

Nappa had started fighting with relish, but as he got into his rhythm, the teen’s foul mouthed jibes had taken his pleasure away. 

The flow of guards became a trickle and they landed outside the palace doors, kicking them open. 

Vegeta strolled in, lazily knocking soldiers out of his way as he went. 

Finally, they came face to face with King Orlov, who was quivering on his throne.  


“Hey,” Vegeta greeted.  


“Why has Freeza done this to us?” he asked, “Why would he take over my planet?”  


“He does shit like that. Now give me your crown.” 

Vegeta stepped toward the King, his hand out stretched. 

King Orlov slowly removed his crown before handing it to Vegeta. 

The Prince whooped and put it on his head before blasting the king.  


“Prince Vegeta!” Raditz shouted, running into room, “I did it! I defeated them all! I’m so strong!”  


“Nah, I just reprogrammed your scouter. Do you like my crown?”  


“I fucking hate you right now.”  


“Father!” Thena cried, rushing in and grabbing the body of her fallen parent. 

She sat on the floor cradling him, quietly sobbing. 

Vegeta looked at her, grinning.  


“Hey Thena, wanna bang now?”  


“You just killed my father, you fucking animal!”  


“Still not hearing a ‘no’…”  


“Sire,” Nappa said exasperated, “we should probably take her back to Lord Freeza?” 

Vegeta visibly slumped and pressed his scouter. 

Numbers and locations flickered on the screen and he sighed.  


“Shit, looks like our soldiers took out all the other people on this planet.” He said gloomily, ignoring a strangled cry from the princess. “Well that was boring. We’ll have to find something fun to do on the ship.”


	4. Heart to Heart...Sort of

“Lord Freeza, sorry to bother you but we seem to have a situation.” 

Freeza took his lips away from his wine glass and glared at Zarbon with slits for eyes.  


“What is it, Zarbon? I’m trying to enjoy my evening!”  


“Its Prince Vegeta, my Lord,” 

The name pulled a groan from Freeza, 

“he’s coated the corridor floor with a slippery substance and he won’t tell us how to clean it off!” 

He pressed the button to open the doors and Freeza watched the chaos beyond. 

Two grunt troops were holding onto each other, slip-sliding around, another slid passed the door at high speed, seemingly out of control. 

Freeza started to laugh. “He is very enjoyable to have around,” he said, “He’ll have to be punished, obviously, but oh what fun!” 

Freeza clapped.  


“Aren’t we meant to be controlling him, my Lord,” Zarbon protested.  


“Come now, Zarbon, where’s your sense of humour? Now then,” Freeza turned his hover chair to face the window. 

“How’s our Princess doing?”  


“Not well, Sir. She’s refusing to come out of her quarters and seems very upset. Keeps mentioning something about her home world or something.”  


“Women, they do hold onto these things don’t they?”  


“Yes, Lord Freeza. What do you intend to do with her?”  


“She’s fluent in some of the languages spoken on planets around here. I was hoping to use her skills as a translator and her status to secure some trade deals.”  


“Something tells me she isn’t going to comply.”  


“Something tells me she is! Lock her in the holding cells. With Vegeta. An hour with that annoying monkey would be enough to drive anyone mad.”

 

Thena and Vegeta were in the holding cells, a cage each, the princess calm and standing quietly, the prince kicking the bars and muttering to himself.  


“Fucking Freeza, never lets me have any fun.” He said.  


“Do you have to swear so much?” She asked.  


“Swearing is both big and clever.”  


“It isn’t, you know, its infantile-not princely behaviour at all.”  


“Bite me, bitch.” Thena huffed and looked at the floor.  


“Was Freeza always going to betray us?”  


“How the fuck should I know?”  


“How long have you worked for him?”  


“Most of my life, I guess, why?”  


“I’m just wondering how you ended up killing my father so callously.” 

Vegeta rolled his eyes and tested the bars again with his hands.  


“Sometimes you can bend the bars with energy, there are older ones…” 

He gave the bars a good pull before standing back without them budging. 

“Fucking bullshit!” He sat on the floor, one knee up, arms folded.  


“Why do you attack planets for him?” she asked quietly.  


“I don’t know, for fun? If people don’t bother getting strong and putting up a fight then why should I care what happens to them? They clearly don’t! Nappa says all Saiyans love fighting, it’s not just me.”  


“Who’s Nappa?”  


“Just some dick I work with.”  


“So what Freeza did to us, did he do it to the Saiyans too?” 

She pressed herself to the bars, staring directly at his face.  


“Probably, who cares?”  


“Because if he did, I’m in the same position you were and you’ve helped him do it to me.”  


“If you have any sense at all, you’ll help him do it to someone else!” He muttered. She smiled down at him.  


“You do care then?”  


“Can’t bang you if you’re dead.”  


“Oh my God!”  


“Still not a ‘no’…”


	5. Trade Mission and 'The Incident'

Freeza looked down at them as they knelt on the floor.  


“So, Princess, are you ready to cooperate?” He asked. 

Zarbon stepped towards her menacingly. She gulped.  


“Yes, Lord Freeza,”  


“Good. And Vegeta, are you ready to behave like a grown up and stop these silly games?”  


“I’ll try.”  


“That’s not really a commitment, is it?”  


“I’ll try really hard.”  


“I suppose that’ll have to do.” 

Zarbon stepped back into line with the numerous grunt soldiers and waited. 

“Now then, Princess, I am assigning you a mission to go and negotiate a trade deal with the Planet Horan. You will go with a small squadron just in case things turn ugly. You will be fully briefed before you leave.” 

Vegeta coughed. 

“Yes, Vegeta?”  


“I want to go too.” 

There was a collective intake of breath.  


“You want to go on a trade mission?”  


“I’m as strong as any squad, you can save money!” 

Freeza seemed to be considering this before Zarbon stepped in.  


“Lord Freeza, I really must advise against Vegeta being allowed near people we want to like us,” he warned, “remember The Ramerian Treaty?” 

There was a collective groan as everyone’s minds were cast back.  


“Oh God!” Freeza exclaimed, “What a disaster!”  


“Or the Bowlians?” Zarbon pressed. 

Vegeta laughed.  


“Good times….” He chuckled.  


“Or what the crew now only refer to as ‘the incident’?” 

Everyone started exclaiming and talking at once, shaking their heads. 

Freeza closed his eyes.  


“Where did you even get that many drums? We’re on a Space Station!” He asked.  


“Lord Freeza, please let me go! I want to make sure Thena is safe. We have a ‘thing’,”  


“We do not have a ‘thing’!”  


“We hung out all day yesterday!”  


“IN JAIL!”  


“Quiet, both of you!” Freeza snapped, recovering from the memory of ‘the incident’. “Well, if you have a ‘thing’…”  


“We do not have a ‘thing’!”  


“…then Vegeta will be protective of you. Very well, but don’t mess this up!” 

The prince whooped and jumped up, Thena groaned and sank lower to the floor. 

 

“What do you mean you just want to start the negotiations?” Vegeta demanded as they walked through thick forest towards the alien city.  


“We’re here to work, unless you’ve forgotten already!” Thena spat. 

Vegeta slowed down and stared at her.  


“You’re going to work straight away? Who does that? No, we need to find something fun to do first, then when we run out of ideas, we do work.”  


“How do you function?” 

This was met with a smirk from the prince, who pressed his scouter on.  


“Looks like there’re some power levels over there, let’s go!”  


“No, absolutely not! I want to spend as little time here as possible, then get back to grieving for my people! Besides, won’t Freeza notice if we’re gone too long?” 

The prince chucked to himself.  


“Nah, he’ll have plenty to do today…”

 

“Zarbon…”  


“Yes, Master Freeza?”  


“Why are none of the lights working?”  


“We’re trying to find out, my Lord…”

 

“No, Vegeta, we’re going to the government building, conducting the talks, then we’re going back. That’s it.”  


“Just because we have a ‘thing’ does not mean you get to tell me what to do!”  


“We do not have a ‘thing’!”  


“Ok, fine, whatever. Race ya!” 

Vegeta kicked off the ground and flew into the air toward the city, leaving Thena stranded.  


“DICK!” She yelled at the top of her lungs.


	6. Prince Charming

The two lizard aliens wrestled brutally, one throwing the other to the ground while the small crowd gasped. 

The men grappled in the centre of the circle of spectators. 

Money exchanged hands in the crowd and a white chalkboard displaying odds kept being altered by the prince as he watched the fight. 

One man punched the other in the jaw and his opponent fell down, unconscious. 

Grumbles mixed with cries of joy as money was exchanged for the final time, the winners thumbing through their notes. 

“Wow, would not have called that!” Vegeta said to the confused looking victor.  


 

“PRINCE VEGETA!” came an angry yell from the door. 

Thena stood there in the doorway, twigs sticking out of her messy hair, robes ripped.  


“Oh hey, Thena, you made it!”  


“You abandoned me in the woods! And what the hell is going on in here?”  


“Illegal gambling and a fighting tournament.”  


“You don’t speak their language! How did you even organise this?” 

Vegeta flashed his winnings at her and put the notes inside his armour, grinning.  


“When it comes to crime, I’m very resourceful.”  


“Fuck sake.”  


“Now you’re getting it!” He beamed. 

One of the aliens shuffled up to Thena with a disturbed look on his face. He spoke in Horan.  


“What’s wrong with him?” He asked, glancing at Vegeta who was cackling over the unconscious body on the floor, 

“is he feral? Who is he?”  


“Just some dick I work with.”  


“Please, Princess, tell Freeza he can have whatever he wants, just take him away!”  


“What did he say?” Vegeta called. Thena sighed with exasperation.  


“He said he wants you to go away and he’ll sign the deal.”  


“Awesome! Did I just organise a trade agreement?” He looked down thoughtfully. “Is there nothing violence can’t solve?” 

Thena smacked her head with her hand.

 

“I actually don’t believe it. Zarbon, can this really be happening?”  


“I have checked several times, Lord Freeza,”  


“It’s impossible!”  


“I thought so too, but it’s actually happened!”  


“Vegeta’s back from a completed assignment….on time….” The two men stared dumbfounded at the prince kneeing before them.  


“I’m the reason they signed the agreement too,” he stated.  


“They wanted him to go away.” Added Thena.  


“I can empathise.” Freeza said, Zarbon nodding at his side. “Very well then, you both may leave.”  


The pair stood up and made their way to the door. Vegeta looked up at the ceiling.  


“Got the lights back on then…” He said thoughtfully.  


“What?” Came Freeza’s voice.  


“I said I like Thena’s ass.”  


“For the love of….Get out!” 

 

“Thena! Wait up!” 

He ran up to her and she continued to walk quickly away from him. 

“Where are you going?”  


“To my room.” She snapped. 

Vegeta looked around them, confused.  


“Why are you going this way?”  


“Someone covered the eastern route corridor in slippery goo. Look.” 

She pointed down the corridor behind them where several cleaning droids were sliding helplessly around, unable to gain traction. 

Vegeta burst out laughing. He regained his composure and ran to block her path.  


“You know, sometimes I get the impression you don’t like me.” He said.  


“Really? I wonder why I wouldn’t like you. Could it be because you’re an arrogant, childish, vulgar ass? Or maybe because you helped destroy my home world and killed my father?”  


“Women get so hung up about these things!”  


“MOVE.” 

She stepped around him and charged off to her room. 

Before she could open the door, he was in front of her again.  


“Thena, let’s stop this game. We both know I like you.”  


“No you don’t, you just want to get into my pants!”  


“I fail to see the difference.” She made an exasperated noise and pushed him out of the way, slamming the door in his face.  


“Bitch!”


	7. I Have a Type

“I don’t get why she doesn’t want to fuck me!” He punched the air in the training room while Nappa and Raditz watched.  


“Have you tried incessantly pestering?” Raditz asked.  


“Yeh,”  


“Usual tactic isn’t working then, I see your dilemma.”  


“Fuck off.” Came the annoyed reply.  


“Have you tried actually being nice to her? Women like romance, not being told you want to sleep with them.” Nappa suggested.  


“Romance? Vegeta wouldn’t know romance if it hit in the face with a bunch of flowers!”  


“Thank you Raditz, that’s totally true.” Vegeta agreed. “I have to find a way of manipulating her feelings towards me. Maybe with some sort of gesture of affection…”  


“I was wrong, he just calls it something else.” Raditz sighed.  


“But what?” Vegeta said, ignoring him.

 

“Thena?”  


“Get lost, Vegeta!”  


“Come out of your room, I have something for you.”  


“Is it your penis?”  


“No, wouldn’t try that one twice!”  


“Good to know. I’m still not coming out.” 

He leaned on the door, face against it, smelling her scent. 

He scolded himself for being so sentimental, but he couldn’t get enough of it. 

It was like nothing he had felt before- this woman was neglecting him, arguing with him, rejecting him-yet still, he couldn’t get her off his mind. 

He shook himself out of his thoughts.  


“Must be having a drug-flash-back. They warned me about those…” He told himself. 

He placed the gift on the floor before walking away. 

Thena cracked the door when she was sure he’d gone. 

On the ground outside her room was her father’s crown. 

She turned it over in her hands and smiled.  
End


End file.
